Guest Post: From Dx to X2 (Tandem T:Slim) by Robert S

This is a guest post by Robert S who dropped me a line via FaceTwit as he had been  writing down his 'diabetes story' but didn't have a blog to share it on. Apparently he has been good enough (or mad enough?) to read my ramblings in the past and offered it as a guest post for sharing here. His story echoes much of my own, and I am very interested to read that he has chosen the Tandem T:slim X2 insulin pump out of the current offerings, as that is one I have quietly got my eye on too. Here is Robert's story. Enjoy!

Tandem T:slim X2

My Diabetes Story, by Robert S

I was diagnosed in 1994 at the age of 38, about 10 years after my older sister who had (eventually) been diagnosed at a similar age. I was given a number of very vague, unhelpful leaflets & sent on my way.

I spent the next few years religiously taking insulin as instructed but with pretty poor results.

Diabetes clinics were a trial for me, with many 'must do betters' but precious little advice on how to achieve this. Several times I was mistaken for type 2 & had some very odd conversations. I probably presented as typical type 2, middle aged and overweight, and most people at the clinic were type 2. However they clearly hadn't read my notes which didn't inspire confidence.

I was divorced during this period so I was very much dealing with it on my own.

The internet arrived & eventually I discovered diabetes forums. Wow, what a revelation! There were other people having the same problems as me. A LOT of people! Bad news for them but a great relief that it wasn't just me.

Importantly some of these people were working to improve their diabetes & describing how.

At the time of my diagnosis carbohydrate 'exchanges' seemed to be going out of favour but for me, at least, carb counting was a very vague concept.

The forums prompted me to do the online carb counting course set up by Bournemouth Diabetes & Endocrinology Centre (BDEC). It didn't solve all my problems but for the first time I felt I had a method for moving forward.

By this time I had moved from 'Humulin I' & 'Humulin S' to a basal/bolus regime, which also helped.

My GP surgery contacted me suggesting that they monitor my diabetes now they had a Diabetes Nurse. Being rather disillusioned by my experiences in the clinic system I accepted.

I enjoy programming & wrote software for my phone to record everything & do some basic dosage computations. My HbA1c had never been really terrible, usually in the low 8s (8% or 64mmol/mol, Ed), but I honestly don't know how. Some hard work got it down to the mid 7s (7.5% or 59mmol/mol, Ed).

So the situation had improved somewhat & I felt more in control.

Sadly, another event encouraged my efforts, as my sister died from diabetic complications at the age of 64.

From the beginning hypos were an almost daily event. The worst being overnight. I've always had good hypo warnings, but at night hypos tend to progress further & I would wake up soaked in sweat.

By 2013 though, the overnight hypos seemed to be worse. I discussed it with the diabetes nurse at my GP practice but the best advice was always eat some supper & don't go to bed below 8mmol/L. I was already doing this.

I'd read about Continuous Glucose Monitors (CGMs) which looked very interesting, but were way too expensive for me and, I noted, you still needed to do finger sticks.

Things came to a head on Boxing Day night 2013. I was away staying (alone) in a hotel & I woke up with a hypo around 1:30. Dragged myself out of bed managed to force a some glucose tablets & a biscuit down me & fell asleep. The next thing I knew I was waking curled up in a ball under the duvet, sweating yet shivering to the point where my teeth were chattering continuously. The worst thing was that I couldn't move to do anything about it. Eventually I fell asleep wondering if I'd wake up.

I decided to self fund a Dexcom G4, at least for a while. By the end of January 2014 I was wearing my first CGM. I watched it obsessively. On the second day I attended a graduation ceremony and was offered a glass of Bucks Fizz & a blueberry muffin. I thought I was being sensible & only ate about a third of the muffin & bolused for it. The effect on my blood sugars was fascinating. I watched as the graph went up, & up & up. I don't remember how high but it was an eye opener.

Initially it was more about the alarms which warned me in time to stop low blood sugars. Still annoying at night but I no longer woke up sweating.

I began to learn from the readings. The first big thing I noticed was a fairly consistent dip in my blood sugars around 1:30 to 2:30 in the morning. This made it difficult get my overnight average to a sensible level & went some way to explaining the nocturnal hypos. I tried varying the time that I was injecting my basal (Lantus) moving it from evening to morning, or splitting the dose. Nothing was really satisfactory.

Someone in the DOC (Diabetes Online Community) suggested changing my basal insulin. After chatting to my GP I moved to Levemir. I had a lot of trouble sorting out the dose, being quite worried that I had to take so much more than I had of Lantus. It was a split dosage & gradual adjustments left morning/evening doses very different, but, it was working. I saw some fairly horizontal overnight graphs, something I'd never ever seen before.

This encouraged me & I also made other adjustments; splitting boluses for some meals, not being afraid to do corrections between meals & so on.

Nothing was perfect but I did feel more 'in control'. Things still went wrong but when they did I was confident I could put it right. My HbA1c went below 7% (53mmol/mol) for the first time.

Using online instructions I built a box of electronics which allowed my Dexcom sensor data to be transmitted to my mobile phone. Thanks to #WeAreNotWaiting I set up a NightScout website to display my data.

This was all great, but hard work. I was doing a lot of injections, up to 12 a day. Also absorption of my basal injections was rather erratic, sometimes as I would expect, sometimes not. The best location was my thigh, but despite rotating sites there were problems.

By this time I'd been reading about hybrid closed loop (artificial pancreas) systems. First the DIY systems OpenAPS, Loop, and AndroidAPS, then the first commercial system the Medtronic 670G. This was exciting stuff but it was clear that first you needed to have an insulin pump. I had in fact been offered one about 15 years before but was then horrified at the thought of being permanently connected to the thing.

I decided I would now like to try one. It was not something my GP surgery could sort out so I had to be referred back to the hospital. This proved to be a long process, several months. I still don't know why. Eventually it went through just before Christmas.

By the time I met up with the DSN at the hospital a month or so later I had all but convinced myself I was wasting my time as control was simply too good?

Sure enough the DSN was impressed with my readings but it didn't help my case. I pointed out that I was doing a lot of injections each day. Not relevant.

"How many hypos do you have?"
"Hardly any."
"Yes, but that's with the Dexcom you are funding?" This wonderful lady was on my side & looking to find a way.
"Lots, nasty ones, that's why I bought it"
"That's it! Now let's have a look at the pumps you could have."

What! Really! To be honest I would have accepted some dusty old pump from the back of a drawer..

But when I focused on what she was saying I could barely believe my ears. I'd done a lot of homework on pumps & she was mentioning the Medtronic MM640G & the most advanced, the 'Artificial Pancreas' MM670G.

Then she added the Tandem T:slim X2 to the list. Again I'd read about it but thought it was only available in the USA. Positively it would soon be linked to the Dexcom G6 I was already using. I love my G6 & it seems to compare favourably with the Medtronic sensors. (Not that I had any personal experience of them).

Uniquely the software (firmware) of the X2 can be updated & in the UK will soon include Basal-IQ, a system which automatically suspends insulin if it thinks you will go low. There is also the promise of a full hybrid closed loop option similar to the Medtronic 670G - again an over the internet update.

I made my decision; the T:slim X2. By mid March after a couple of training sessions, I walked out of the hospital attached to my pump. Very exciting & not a little nerve racking!

We had agreed a 30% reduction in the basal dosage compared to my Levemir. A profile was set up.

During the evening it became clear to me that this was still too much & changed to an 80% temporary basal rate (TBR).

My Dexcom woke me about 1:30. I dropped the temporary basal to 75% and had a small snack. Readings got 'stuck' in the low 4s & eventually I ate again and reduced to a 60% TBR.

So not much sleep but at least I was closer to the required dosage. One thing that I kept thinking that night was "How does anyone do this without a CGM??" Presumably they start with a much more conservative dosage.

I had worried about what to do with the pump at night, and it was a problem. Clipping it on my waistband sort of worked but it would slide along to an uncomfortable place or slip off completely. I now have a 'Spibelt' with a pocket for the pump which is much better.

A week in now & I'm doing remarkably well, some days over 90% of my readings have been 'in range' - between 3.9 & 9.9mmol/L. I know this is probably just a 'honeymoon period', having had type 1 for over 20 years I find I'm waiting for reality to reassert itself & everything to go wrong...

The pump itself is a very neat device. It is small & has a nice clear touch screen. If you are used to smartphones then it is easy to use. It seems well made, time will tell.

I've had some practice with temporary basal rates as mentioned but I've also been playing with 'Extended Boluses' a new concept to me, promising, but I need to experiment.

As with all pumps the big advantage is the same as the big disadvantage - namely that it is always connected to you. It's great that I don't have to remember my pens & I won't miss those injections - I stopped counting at about 50,000 several years ago.

A big advantage is that you have a record of every dose. No longer do I have to wonder 'Did I do that or not?'

There's also the precision of boluses & the in built Bolus Wizard (Calculator). I am learning to trust the IOB (Insulin On Board) figure on the pump. Previously I had tended to intervene too soon when blood sugars rose quickly.

I'm told that changing infusion sets on the X2 is slow, but it seems OK to me having never used anything else.

I'm looking forward to improving my settings & the upgrades mentioned above.

For the first time in my diabetic life I feel as though I am 'ahead of the game', and yes, I know I am lucky.

Diabetes has never been so interesting!

By Robert S.

Guest post: Lessons learned from insulin pump breaks

Guest post from 'Big Purple Duck'.

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes aged 3. Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune condition in which the immune system attacks the insulin-producing cells of the pancreas. Insulin is a hormone vital to the process of transforming the food we eat into energy. Without it, death is certain. So in the absence of a fully functioning pancreas, those of us with type 1 need to take insulin on a daily basis to prevent our blood glucose levels becoming dangerously high.

For 15 years I managed this condition with daily injections of insulin. Then, 8 years ago, I started using an insulin pump. A quick look at some other type 1 blogs will soon find you the benefits of an insulin pump over injections. While it’s not for everyone, I have found it much more effective in managing my blood glucose levels. However, I have in the last 18 months taken 2 breaks from pumping and returned to multiple daily injections (MDI) for roughly 3 months each time. Here are some of the things these breaks have taught me about type 1, pumping, and life with diabetes.

1. Pumping is still better.

I have found the breaks helpful in reminding me why I started pumping in the first place. Using an insulin pump can be much more intensive than injections, and it can be difficult to stay on top of things. Switching back to MDI gave me a break from this intensity, but fairly quickly on both occasions the swinging blood glucose (BG) reminded me why the intensity on the pump is worth it. BGs are much more stable, life is more flexible, and on the whole I feel much better.

2. Pumping is, however, the lesser of two evils.
There is, sadly, no magic fix for diabetes. It’s a difficult condition to live with, no matter how you manage it. Pumping can be intense and throws in some extra variables. (Is my site working? Has the tubing blocked?) But MDI is more inflexible and causes me more hypos (low blood glucose). Neither is perfect. You’ve just got to pick whichever one works least awfully for you.

3. Pumping is less scary.
After I got into the swing of things with the pump, and before I took any breaks, I had a permanent, vague anxiety about what the hell would happen if my pump stopped working and I was forced to return to MDI until I got a replacement. This anxiety has now gone. I know I can manage things on MDI, I know roughly what doses I’d need, I know what works for me on MDI and what doesn’t. And so there is less pressure on pumping. If I’m having a nightmare with infusion sites and just can’t seem to get anywhere with it, I know I have a fairly comfortable MDI regime to fall back on.

4. It’s not all or nothing.
Before I took a pump break, I was absolutely horrified when I started to have a site or absorption problem. I’d keep taking correction doses on my pump, see my BGs keep increasing, and panic. I’d keep on fighting this battle until I got a site that worked (and then my BGs come crashing down, obviously). Now I approach high BGs a little differently, and allow injections to help me. One of the huge benefits of injections is that I have no doubt that the insulin dose went in. So when I’m faced with a high BG now, whether I suspect my site is problematic or not, I correct with an injection. This always brings me down quicker than a pump correction (I’m still theorising on why that is). It allows me some breathing space – I know the insulin has gone in and will start to bring my BG down, so I can focus on finding the cause of the high. When I do change my site, I’m much less anxious about it because I know injection corrections will see me through if the site doesn’t work.

5. I’m more flexible about balancing my diabetes with life.
Sometimes I’m quite happy to put in the effort of BG checks 8 times daily, checking basal rates and changing sites because it leads to better BG control and generally better health. However, sometimes life gets pretty crazy and I’m not able to prioritise my diabetes like this. Before my first pump break I would have got very upset about this conflict and found myself heading straight for diabetes burnout. However, now I weigh up the option of going back to MDI again for a period until things are calmer and I feel more able to put in the hours required of the pump. In fact, I’m considering MDI for the Christmas period this year so I can ease up on testing and thinking about it so much. And so I actually resent my diabetes less, because I feel able to put it on the back burner with MDI when I feel I need to.

6. Insulin is amazing – method of delivery is fairly irrelevant.

The above is an image that has always stuck with me since first I saw it – a young boy with diabetes just before the discovery of insulin, compared with the same boy three months after starting insulin treatment. It’s horrifying to think that there are people with type 1 diabetes the world over without access to insulin, or struggling to afford it (see #insulin4all). Fundamentally, insulin is the key to life for us – and I am exceedingly lucky to have access to it without concerns about financing it, thanks to the NHS. So while neither pumping nor MDI are ideal, and while I sometimes find it difficult to decide which works better for me at a given time, what matters is that I have insulin and my health. The rest of it can be figured out.

New Clinic vs Old Clinic - Guest Post by Lucy.

After the excitement of Saturday's #t1talk and with the kind permission of someone I have only ever met 'electronically' on a forum, I am posting this account of a patient experience in clinic. For someone who has really struggled in the past, this new patient-centred approach has been nothing short of mind blowing:

"I honestly left feeling quite stunned and shocked, and with the thought "have i just walked out of some parallel universe?". It was a wonderful example of how things should be, and did wonders for my confidence in ability to communicate my own thoughts and feelings at appointments, something I've previously struggled with a lot." Lucy.

Well, as some of you may know I've been asking for a couple of years at least to switch from one local hospital to the other, due to not being happy with the way I'm treated at the hospital I had been going to. After my last appointment there, I was so surprised and upset at what happened that I went and saw my GP, explained how I felt whilst holding back the tears, and he asked me to write a letter to the consultant explaining what happened from my point of view. I'm not one for complaining but for the first time, as instructed, I wrote a 2 page letter explaining where things went wrong, asking for further explanations of the decisions I disagreed with, and backing up my point of view with evidence from official bodies.

So it was very exciting this week to have my first appointment at the other hospital. There was a bit of mix up with the appointment letters going to the wrong address so it was all a bit sudden but I got there. I don't want to name the hospitals, as I'm sure others have good experiences at the other hospital, but some of you will know where I mean.

Usually I leave appointments and start crying. I left this appointment feeling like I'd left a parallel universe.

My appt started promptly and lasted over half an hour. The nurse introduced themself and told me their name and role etc.

It is a very nurse led clinic. There are consultants too, but she explained that the nurses focus just on analysing patterns in BGs etc day to day, and that makes them pretty strong at that, whilst the consultants see the bigger picture - they're important too they just have different roles.

I was asked my opinion a lot. Am I happy with my diabetes control. Any thing I want to change or improve?

I was talked to like a competent and knowledgeable adult. My opinions werent just asked for but they were listened to and responded to.

The attitude was that I am a key part of decisions and I should steer things. It was about letting me know what they can offer me, and leaving it to me to decide what I want. If I want to see a dietician I can, if I want to see the DSN very often or very little, then we can arrange that too. If I want to communicate via phone or email, then I can do that too. Wrote down the details for me.

I was offered carb counting courses for the first time, in groups or one to one. It wasn't a "you should do this" it was a "you should know we can do this, if it's something you decide you want to do at any point".

Insulin pumps were brought up by them not me. There are several hundred people on NHS funded insulin pumps at the clinic and they are not all T1. I was told not being [classic] T1 doesn't mean pumps aren't an option, though it is more rare. They also made sure my expectations were realistic and that I didn't take it to mean "of course you can definitely have a pump".

I was asked how I find Tresiba, how do I think it's working and how do I find it. I've told previous Drs that I dont think it gives me a benefit over levemir/lantus and been told, "Yes it does, its very good, stay with it". I told the nurse that I don't think it is worth the extra cost and instead of telling me I'm wrong, she asked why and I explained. Basically we had a normal adult conversation like normal adults do rather than one person treating the other like a child.

I was asked if I'd tried the tablet that makes you pee out sugar (can't remember the name). That was mentioned as an option I hadn't tried, and that I can try it with insulin. I wasn't told "you should try this", I was told "this is what it does and how it works and the benefits of it" so that I could think about it as an option that hadn't been mentioned before.

I was asked if there is a particular consultant I wanted to see or if I'm happy to see any. I was interested in seeing one that knows about pumps but of course they're all pretty pump knowledgable anyway.

One tweak was suggested to me to experiment with, which is to try a bolus as soon as I wake up, before getting out of bed even, to stop the DP (dawn phenomenon). I was nervous about trying it because of having insulin when walking the dog, but felt comfortable with trying it - starting small - after chatting it over.

They showed interest in my Libre sensor, had heard of it, and were interested in how I found it and how it improved my life. They looked at the weeks daily BG traces I had printed off and saw patterns and generally seemed interested in the data. It must be years since anyone has even looked at the BG printouts I take and offer them. I'd been told sensor is a waste of money and not to use it at my previous clinic.

My A1c is 68, at last hospital I had been told "well that's close to target of 8% so stop the apidra now". When I kept saying my personal target is under 6.5%, I was told to be realistic and that that isn't possible without loads of hypos. At the new hospital I was listened to when I said I wanted it lower to reduce risk of complications, as I have plans for a long healthy life. Only opinion given on my BGs was that whilst they could be lower they aren't terrible, but if I want to improve them then we can work together on that.

I was asked when/if I wanted to come back to see the DSN again. It could be as soon or far away as I liked really, it was up to me. I was a bit surprised by all this 'being asked what I wanted' to be honest and didn't know what to say, so she suggested a time period and I agreed to that.

I've said or thought previously that in an ideal world, my diabetes appointments would be like my one-to-ones with my boss. He asks me what I'm happy with and where I want to improve, if there are any courses I think would help me, or any support that I feel I need. He asks what targets I want to set and where I want to get to. He offers some feedback, guidance and suggestions, but it's a two way conversation, between two competent adults. My previous diabetes appointments have never been like this. My new one was like that.

I honestly left feeling quite stunned and shocked, and with the thought, "Have i just walked out of some parallel universe?". It was a wonderful example of how things should be, and did wonders for my confidence in ability to communicate my own thoughts and feelings at appointments, something I've previously struggled with a lot.

Thank you so much for sharing this Lucy. Sounds pretty much perfect.

Release your inner diabetes Hobbit - Guest post for Diabetes UK

My diabetes, yesterday.

Last weekend we finally got around to watching the last part of Peter Jackson's mammoth 'Hobbit' trilogy "The Hobbit: Battle, battle and a bit more battle" on one of those newfangled instant video services (pauses to wistfully remember trawling the aisles of tiny, ramshackle video rental shops all those decades ago). During one of the epic-wide-shot-sweeps across the thundering conflict there emerge, through dust and fracturing hillsides, several enormous, lumbering cave trolls - staggering about, squashing people and generally getting in the way.

They reminded me more than a little of my diabetes.

Except that my diabetes doesn't often wear a little wooden backpack-style platform of Orcs throwing rocks. Although some days...

I think it was the thick-headed stagger of them that made me draw the comparison. The turgid movement. The stupidity and utter disregard for anyone or anything around them. Yup, my diabetes can be all of those things. Slow, stubborn and very hard to work around.

The heroes of the film, by contrast, are tiny, fleet of foot and scamper around very nimbly. Dancing and chasing in and out, between legs and around corners, while the grunting Diabetes Troll laboriously lifts its impossibly-heavy hammer for another ill-aimed swipe.

But there is obvious peril here. Running rings around the hapless troll is all very well, but unless you keep your wits about you, and ideally keep your distance from the 'complications' hammer sooner or later you run the risk of getting squashed.

Mercifully, diabetes complications are pretty slow moving for the most part. And an occasional out-of-range reading here or there does not necessarily mean that our kidneys pack up immediately or our eyes are instantly fried [Good job too looking at my BG results this week!]. But there is a danger in that. It is all too easy to become a little complacent. Doing something now that (you hope) will reduce the chances of *something* not happening 5, 10 or 20 years from now is not a brilliant action-reward feedback loop. What someone once described as, "We work hard so that nothing happens... We hope that all of that "something" we do leads to nothing - Nothing is a pretty lousy reward".

All that effort and nothing to show for it. Are we doing enough? Do we need to do more? And we can't rely on our feelings to measure these things. There are no pain-measuring nerve endings in many of the places that our Diabetes Troll might be taking a swing at. And the swing itself might be so slow as to be almost unnoticeable until it's right there upon you.

And that is why the 15 Healthcare Essentials recommended by Diabetes UK are SO important. The first 9 or 10 represent really important annual checks which allow you to keep an eye on your Diabetes Troll. And if you discover that you are straying a little too close for comfort, having these checks done every year allows you to take action early to reduce your risk of getting squished. Between 10 and 15 there are really important parts of your care package which will allow you to improve your hammer-dodging skills, brush up on your swordplay and make sure your mind, as well as your body are ready for the fight.

15 Healthcare Essentials Checklist

1. Get your HbA1c measured at least once a year
2. Have your blood pressure measured and recorded at least once a year
3. Have your blood fats (such as cholesterol) measured every year
4. Have your eyes screened for signs of retinopathy every year
5. Have your feet checked every year
6. Have your kidney function monitored annually, including having your urine tested for protein
7. Have your weight checked
8. Get support if you are a smoker
9. Receive care planning to meet your individual needs
10. Attend an education course to help you understand and manage your diabetes
11. Receive care from a specialist paediatric team if you are a child or young person
12. Receive high quality care if admitted to hospital
13. Get information and specialist care if you are planning to have a baby
14. See specialist diabetes healthcare professionals to help you manage your diabetes
15. Get emotional and psychological support

Around 80% of the budget spent on treating diabetes in the UK goes on sorting out complications. Just think about that for a moment. 80p out of every pound. All the cost of medications, test strips and fancy diabetes gadgetry are utterly Hobbit-like when set against the monstrous scale of the cost of helping those for whom things have not worked out so well.

The vast majority (around 90%) of people living with either type 1 or type 2 diabetes have never been offered or have never attended a structured education course which could give them the skills to live better with diabetes every day.

Way less than half of the people living with Type 1 in the UK are getting the checks that they should every year. The actual figure, according to the National Diabetes Audit is just over 40%.

People are not finding out early enough that their eyes, kidneys or nerves are starting to show a little wear and tear. It is never too late to make improvements to your own diabetes management, or get the right treatment and support. Many, many people have used information from their 15 Essential Healthcare Checks to dodge the hammer-blow and nimbly dart out of reach of the troll's swing. Early warnings are just that. Improve your diabetes management and in many cases those early signs can be stopped in their tracks - sometimes they can disappear altogether.

If you live with diabetes, or know someone who does - make sure you read that list and make those appointments. Being told, 'It's all looking fine' does not make these visits a complete waste of time. It's an important annual opportunity to make sure you are staying one step ahead of the trolls.

See also: 15 checks, diabetes audits and prawns

Christmas Wishes - Guest post for Diabetes UK

Sometimes diabetes feels more like an uphill struggle than others. I'm in one of those periods at the moment. The months are rolling by with a constant sense of dissatisfaction with my BG levels. Strategies are being tried, seeming to succeed then seeming not to again. Then the situation turns on a sixpence and I'm having to reverse all the dose changes I have been carefully making - chasing lows not highs, vice-versa, or more usually both at the same time. It's relentless.

I'm not quite sure where I read it but I saw something online a little while ago that talked about why it is that you are more likely to be made unhappy by the little niggly things than really big important events. It seems our brain deals with life with a degree of caution and because all of the mental and physiological engines that kick in when Something Big happens are hard work and take up valuable resources it does not dish out these responses easily. So that if you were involved in some sort of nasty accident you might be able to think coolly and rationally about what to do, and be flooded with hormone responses so that you can work through the process of fight or flight; of escape, manage, repair or recovery with your happiness relatively intact. The small things, however, just slide under the radar and you don't get that helping hand.

Living with a long-term illness is often in the 'under the radar' territory. Sometimes for me, living with type 1 diabetes seems to offer little more than a gentle, relentless sense of failure. Occasionally this is not exactly helped at clinic appointments. How often have you been told to "Just keep doing exactly what you are doing - your levels are perfect!". No, me neither.

Living with type 1 diabetes is an ebb and a flow. Sometimes you discover a new technique, or make a big change like switching insulins or moving onto a pump and there will be a period of readjustment and relearning where you feel you are actively working toward something. It might be that you decide to tackle a long-standing challenge: exercise... overnight levels... restarting regular testing. These can provide short-term goals which allow you to measure progress, focus on achieving whatever it is. Even if you don't succeed straight away there can be a sense of positive feedback. Struggling through and getting it done.

But then there are the ebb tides.

I'm now starting my fourth year on an insulin pump. In the first year I quickly discovered I had no idea what I was doing. I managed to get the basics in place relatively quickly, but I think it was the best part of a whole year before I really felt I was making progress. The second year was more polishing and refining. Working out dual/combo and extended/square bolus options for 'tricky' meals (and them working out again, and then again). Improving results around exercise, and beer (all the important things you understand). In the summer of 2013 I had a run of absolutely extraordinary months of BG results. The best I have ever seen.

Then things got a bit wobblier. But I didn't worry - only to be expected after all. Then wobblier still. Ah well - maybe next month... And so it has gone on.

I wish I could have those levels back. But as much as I have tried to replicate the techniques, food choices, dose adjustments, basal pattern resets and everything else in the months since, certainly over the last 6 months it has just been one set of slightly disappointing results after another. Part of me wishes I had never had that glimpse of what was possible at all. Not had them to compare against. I have had brief periods of decent results since (notably with the Abbott Freestyle Libre), but all too quickly things have strayed again.

So here's the thing. If you are struggling a bit at the moment, and feel like it's all gone to pot - it is NOT your fault.

Keep chipping away at it. Keep doing what you can. You are doing an amazing job, and if the tried and trusted techniques you have been using are not working so well right now it is not YOU that moved the goalposts. You are doing your bit. It's your diabetes that needs to pull its finger out and start behaving again. If all else fails go back to basics and start again, but keep going.

So I wish you all more 'flow' this Christmas, and a lot less 'ebb'. All through the festive period and into the New Year I wish for you (and me!) to be happier with the results we are achieving. To lose any sense of disappointment or self-judgement where things go a little off-track and unlimited patience to gently steer things back toward the middle ground again.

15 Checks, Diabetes Audits and Prawns

Last week saw the publication of the National Diabetes Audit (NDA) for 2012-2013. It's a bit like Ofsted for diabetes clinics and includes results for just over 70% of the places providing care for people with Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes in England and Wales. If you want to dig into the vast and weighty documents yourself, they are published online here: www.hscic.gov.uk/nda.

I got as far as skimming Report 1 'Care Processes and Treatment Targets' (check out that horrendous BG testing technique on the cover folks... right into the nerve-ending-packed softness of the fingertip! Use the sides people use the sides) before one of the stats just jumped out and hit me between the eyes.

Way less than half of all Type 1s are getting the routine healthcare checks they should.

40%. Forty. Percent.

My daughter reliably informs me that in GCSE terms that comes out as an 'E'.

The actual figure is quoted as 41.3% and it has been falling since 2010. That's almost a quarter of a million people living with type 1 diabetes who are missing even the most basic annual checks to help them keep on track.

When it comes to actively supporting people to manage their condition effectively by offering them some sort of structured education course the stats are even more eyewatering. Less that 4% of people being offered a place on a course. A measly 1% actually make it onto the courses. There's a lengthy rant right there... but that will have to wait for another day.

Diabetes UK lists 15 healthcare essentials that people with diabetes should get each year:

1. Get your HbA1c measured at least once a year
2. Have your blood pressure measured and recorded at least once a year
3. Have your blood fats (such as cholesterol) measured every year
4. Have your eyes screened for signs of retinopathy every year*
5. Have your feet checked
6. Have your kidney function monitored annually
7. Have your urine tested for protein each year
8. Have your weight checked
9. Get support if you are a smoker
10. Receive care planning to meet your individual needs
11. Attend an education course to help you understand and manage your diabetes
12. Receive care from a specialist paediatric team if you are a child or young person
13. Receive high quality care if admitted to hospital
14. Get information and specialist care if you are planning to have a baby
15. See specialist diabetes healthcare professionals to help you manage your diabetes
16. Get emotional and psychological support

* eye screening is now handled separately and bizarrely is no longer included in the NDA

The ones in bold are the checks that are covered by the NDA. Eight or nine routine measures to check that nothing nasty is lurking, and to be able to do something about it if things are going awry. These checks are not about passing or failing - they are about protecting us.

So what is going on?
Is it just people not showing up?
Is it that the appointments are not available at convenient times?
Is it that people simply do not *know* that these simple routine checks are so very important?
Is it a lack of resources?
Overstretched NHS?
Un-engaged individuals?
Are clinics not helping patients?
Or are patients not helping themselves?

My guess is that it is *all* of those things.

I wrote once before about the exponential rise in the number of appointments that were involved in my 'annual review' and the situation is much the same. Decentralised care may work well as a buzz word, but patients have ended up with 4 or 5 appointments instead of 1, which makes the whole process much more of a faff.

But here's the harsh truth.

Faff or not - if you are living with type 1 diabetes you need to do whatever you can to make sure that you get those checks.

They are not for the benefit of the doctors. They are not for the purposes of making someone's spreadsheet look snazzier. They are for YOU. We live in a world where people struggle to get access to any insulin at all - let alone the particular type and/or colour of pen that they prefer. The very least we can do is turn up for (free!) appointments designed to help us to make it through life with our feet on and our eyes working.

It absolutely appalls me that the figures are what they are. And the people most likely to suffer as a result are not the clinics or doctors, but the very people who are not getting checked.

Yes I'm sure some clinics could help with more flexible appointment times. Some employers might need to be reminded that under the DDA (or whatever it is called this week) they need to make 'reasonable adjustments' to support employees with diabetes in keeping these kind of routine healthcare appointments.

But at the end of the day we have to find ways of attending.

Prawns
Perhaps it would be easier if diabetes was a bit more like prawns.

After 25-odd years I am very glad that diabetes is often a relatively slow-moving adversary. But perhaps part of the problem with all those thousands of appointments from the patient perspective is that diabetes is not enough like prawns.

Perhaps it's not prawns for you. Maybe it's peanuts. Or yoghurt. Or fresh ravioli with ricotta.

When I was in my teens I had an absolutely delicious pub meal out while on holiday. I chose a local speciality of prawns in their shells. They were fabulous. On the way home in the car I began to feel a little uneasy. I used to suffer a little with motion-sickness so put it down to that. I still felt a bit odd and over-full at bedtime. But then... we had eaten rather a lot. I woke with a start in the early hours and knew instantly that things were not right. Not right at all. Somehow I managed to stumble, in the dark, with excruciating urgency to the tiny the bathroom where I remained until the following morning in a wretched, heaving heap.

I still struggle to look at a prawn.

The trouble is there is no such immediate come-back for a missed appointment here or there. Eating a big ole serving of 'not enough time at the moment' prawns in 'missed appointment' sauce doesn't bring me out in a sweat just thinking about it. But the results of missing those checks are potentially even more catastrophic.

80% of the NHS budget that is spent on diabetes goes on treating complications. We owe it to ourselves to do what we can to change that statistic. To beat diabetes one day at a time. To keep ourselves well.

Making sure we get all our routine healthcare checks is a tiny step in the right direction.

The "I can..." of insulin pumps - Diabetes Week 2014

The theme of this year's Diabetes Week is 'I can...'. Here's a guest post I was invited to write for the Diabetes UK blog.

When I was thinking about this year's theme of 'I can' I was reminded of a conversation I had with someone last week about insulin pumps. It was something that they were being encouraged to consider, but like pretty much everyone else (myself included) their initial reaction was uncertainty. Uncertainty over being connected to something 24 hours a day. Uncertainty about relying on a fragile piece of technology to keep them alive. Uncertainty about how it would make them feel and how others might view them. Uncertainty over whether it would actually improve anything at all. In short, they didn't really think it was for them.

I know those feelings well. I had them all, and many more besides. I was 'pump averse' for many years. My clinic suggested that it might help with my recurrent hypoglycaemia, but could never really articulate how that might happen. All I could see was a big bunch of (what I thought were) downsides.

In the end, for me, it was reading the experiences of pump users online that convinced me to give it a go. The day to day nitty gritty of how it helped them. Now I'm not saying that insulin pumps are for everyone. Some people wouldn't want to touch one with a barge pole, others do just fine on Multiple Daily Injections and are completely happy as they are. But if it is something you are considering, here are a few 'I can's that an insulin pump has given me to add to your thinking:

If I want to go to bed at 5.0mmol/L, I can.
Ahhhhh basal! I have been through quite a few basal insulins in my 25 years of pancreas-impersonation. In the old days we were always advised to have a snack before bed. Why? Well because in all likelihood your basal-du-jour was going to be a bit over-enthusiastic in the early hours and could well plunge you into an overnight hypo. It was many years before I discovered 'basal testing' (systematically adjusting your basal insulin by fasting tests so that it just holds you steady) but try as I might, even with fancy schmancy analogues I could only ever get my basal 'near enough' on MDI. A bit too much here, not quite enough there... make up the differences with meal doses and guesswork. With a pump, the flexibility of multiple basal patterns which can be tweaked and changed with almost infinite precision mean that I can adjust things so that I am actually starting from a level playing field. To my mind, basal is the bedrock of my BG levels. If my basal is out, even by just a little bit, my meal doses and corrections just do not play fair. So I no longer have to worry about stocking up on carbs before bed, because my basal insulin should hold me level and when I need less insulin overnight I get less. Where I need more just before breakfast, I get more.

If I want to give a really accurate dose, I can.
My doses on MDI were often a bit 'ballpark' to be honest. I have always counted carbs and altered my doses based on what I am eating, but I usually rounded up or rounded down to make things easy. Plus I would use insulin:carbohydrate ratios that meant I didn't have to get a calculator out all the time. The Accu-chek Expert was a great tool on MDI for tweaking doses, but I was still using a 'whole unit' pen so there was a degree of rounding even then. Now I can bolus in decimal places. And those tiny tweaks of insulin here or there do seem to make a difference. True enough my carb estimates are still often done by eye, but at least one part of the puzzle is now being calculated and delivered precisely.

If I want to stop here for lunch, I can.
This was the biggest surprise for me. Rediscovering spontaneity. I began pumping with an fairly entrenched anxiety about being hooked up to something 24/7. I know almost no one who has not had that when considering an insulin pump. Many people say that within a few weeks (days for some people) they become completely at one with their new robot pancreas and never give it a second thought. I can't say that it was quite so quick for me, but certainly in less than six months I had stopped noticing being attached at all and my emerging 'unthought' behaviours (like automatically hooking it to a t-shirt when getting changed) meant I never really gave Artoo another thought. If you are newly on an insulin pump and it still feels a bit of a nuisance or 'in the way' hang in there. Where was I? Oh yes... Spontaneity. So I was well prepared to dislike being attached, but I really hadn't expected that attachment would turn out to be such a bonus. Out on a wander on holiday... get a bit distracted and it takes rather longer than anticipated... Oh this pub looks nice, shall we stop for lunch? What would have always previously been "No we can't, I didn't bring my pens with me" has simply become "Yes!". Wherever we are now I always have my 'kit' with me, and while I used to like the idea of being able to leave all this stuff on a table and just walk around 'like a normal person', personally I have come to realise that I feel much more 'normal' if I can eat whatever I fancy whenever I want to, without having to remember to bring a case full of gubbins with me everywhere.

If I want to have 20 boluses/corrections/snacks in a day, I can.
Well strictly speaking I always could have, of course. But in reality I never did. There is something so easy and effortless about push-button dosing that I am far more likely to add in a fraction of a unit here or there during a day when I recognise that I probably wouldn't have bothered to get a pen out, airshot, dial up and inject. This has increased freedom around snacks too. Where I previously found them just to be too much of a hassle on MDI, almost always resulting is a BG wobble in one direction or other (depending on whether I had bothered to bolus or not) I've had much more success with the effortless mini-doses a pump offers. It's easier, so I bother to do it.

If I want to run a marathon (or just vacuum the stairs), I can.
Again, this was something I more or less tamed with MDI, but the additional options available on a pump, like the ability to set a 'temporary basal rate' for several hours, have added considerable 'polish' to many of those day-to-day conundrums of physical activity. I am far less likely to see my BG levels dip below my target range when exercising these days and I'm buying far less Lucozade!


Just a few things of the top of my head. I'm sure most people on pumps could write their own list. Of course diabetes is still annoying and frustrating quite a lot of the time. A pump is not a magic bullet and it still involves a fair bit of faffing about. But for me having a pump has made a tighter set of BG levels more possible, with less effort and far, far fewer nasty lows.

If you are struggling with wrestling your diabetes into some sort of submission and have been offered a pump as a possible way forward I'd suggest giving it a go.

If I can do it... You can.

Diabetes Speed Dating Clinic Type Thing

Some months ago I found myself looking back over the past few years.

If you've read our blog before (congratulations on your uncommon stick-ability) you may remember that we began writing about my diabetes as a family as a result of an unusually nasty hypo. One which made me question whether I was quite as competent at managing my diabetes as I liked to think I was. Posts from others in the household have dwindled rather, and you've ended up stuck with me. Sorry about that. But I look back over the past few years and realise that I have been on a full-on misty-eyed X-Factor-Strictly-Voice-finallist 'journey'.

I was reminded about this yesterday while reading a blog post by The Grumpy Pumper about his own story of venturing into the Diabetes Online Community (DOC). I have had similar conversations with Dave (@SowerBee) previously too.

It seems to go something like this...

1. Get diagnosed
2. Learn to muddle along in your own way, with varying degrees of success
3. Never, or almost never, meet or speak to another actual real-life person with diabetes
4. Feel slightly isolated and faintly dissatisfied with how you are doing but don't know what to do about it
5. Lose a bit of faith in suggestions made by various healthcare professionals/clinics/consultants/registrars/DSNs (what do *they* know - they don't live with this day-to-day, harrumph etc)
6. Carry on for 5/10/15/20 years
7. *Something* happens
8. Look for support online and/or meet other PWD face-to-face (eg on DAFNE)
9. Lightbulb moments ensue
10. Engage, share, try new strategies, feel empowered
11. Understanding and management of condition is transformed

Now here's the thing.

This is a pattern I see repeating, time and time again in the experiences of others just as it did with me.

But there are still so many people at point 5 or 6. People for whom the standard structure of clinic appointments just isn't quite working, but who either don't realise that 'peer support' like the DOC exists, or who would run a mile from the very idea of it, believing that it is 'not for them'. I know the second group well. I was a fully paid-up member for all the years that deep-down in my heart I knew I was struggling a little, but made myself believe that 'this was as good as could be expected' and 'nothing works'. Of the 300,000 people living with Type 1 in the UK how many are connected with others? 3,000? 10,000? That still leaves the vast majority 'soldiering on' on their own with only an Annual Review for company.

So what can we do for them?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that peer support could fully replace 'proper' consultations with qualified and well-trained healthcare professionals. I am aware that dark, weird and scary corners of the internet exist, where all sorts of odd ideas are bandied about as fact (though these are hard to maintain in well-populated, mixed groups and in my experience the DOC doesn't stand for nonsense). But I'm also aware that there is nothing quite like hearing experiences of someone in your position, who does live with the same condition as you every day. Who faces the same struggles and has tried strategies that you might consider.

I've also spotted another phenomenon. If you attend a 'meet up' of forum posters, bloggers, tweeters or others who live with diabetes you will not be able to get them to shut up. In fact, you will struggle to get a word in edgeways. Questions will be asked, approaches and strategies compared, support offered, understanding and empathy for the sheer relentlessness of it all given freely.

I'm also aware that every day, up and down the land, dozens of people sit side-by-side with other people with diabetes in stony silence.

And this strikes me as odd. Or at the very least a massive missed opportunity.

I've been meaning to write this post for months, but kept putting it off because I could never quite get my head around the details. To be honest I couldn't even work out a proper title for the post (this you will have noticed). But the time has come to just 'put it out there' to see if some brave Consultant or Clinical Lead can do something with it. Someone like Partha perhaps?

Here it is: Wouldn't it be great if there was a way to harness all those wasted minutes in the waiting rooms at diabetes clinics. If there was some way of facilitating peer discussion and support while we are all sat there waiting for our number to come up. At the very least it might prompt some actual questions to ask in the appointment itself, rather than everyone just sullenly descending into smile-grunt-nod territory.

Something a bit like speed-dating. Sit opposite a person or two for 5 minutes, ask them how they are getting on. How long they have had diabetes. Is there anything they particularly struggle with. Do they have the same problem I do with this or that? What do they do about it? Ring a bell, everyone moves around... 'You'll never guess what that last bloke said...' 'Really? Oh I get that too...'

Of course there would have to be some sort of 'opt out' for people who simply can't face the idea. But I'd love it if we could break the unwritten rule in diabetes clinic waiting rooms that 'thou shalt not say anything to anyone'. For people to be actively encouraged to compare experiences and support each other. So that each clinic appointment would combine the very best of both D-meetups and HCP input.

If that was on offer - would you join in?

Why I decided to stop being ‘a diabetic’ - Guest post for DiabetesUK

Words are powerful things.

I had a very interesting conversation with the very lovely Lesley Jordan of INPUT in October last year which made me focus on something I had been mulling over for some time.

It’s odd, because I’ve seen it discussed online and in social media before, often with a level of passion and sometimes outrage that has made me think, ‘Why are you letting yourself get so wound up about that?’

I think it began to make more sense to me when I considered the subject in the light of the way I think about my own diabetes, rather than the words or terms other people might use in conversation or in the media. I think to get too stressed or riled up about what other people say is counterproductive, but I have come to see that it is very important for me to choose my words carefully for the little voice in my head.

I know, I know. Many of you are rolling your eyes, and someone almost certainly just said ‘Oh good GRIEF!’. But bear with me here...

Living with a long term condition like diabetes is hard work. There will be days when you might just breeze along quite happily, barely giving it a second thought, but there will almost certainly be other times when it is a lonely, grim and gruelling marathon – and everything is up hill. It is well established that diabetes and depression often go hand in hand and it is important that we protect ourselves and our sometimes fragile senses of self-esteem. One of the most successful ways of doing this seems to be ‘cognitive behaviour therapy’ (CBT) and an important CBT technique is to adjust your inner voice to help you see situations more clearly and more positively.

I think in words. Conversations with myself. In all the countless interactions I have every day with my diabetes I hear my inner voice commenting on what I am doing. If I am not careful, the background to my every day can become a relentless tide of negativity and judgement.

“I have to test my blood...”
“My control is *terrible* at the moment, my BGs have been really bad...”
“Well I really messed up that carb count there. I should have weighed it, I bet I go hypo later...”

And all of this spills over into any conversations I have with other people too.

So I have been trying to make tiny changes to the language I use with myself and with others when I talk about my diabetes. These seem so tiny and insignificant that it is hard to believe that they could matter at all, but we have a rich and subtle language and every word we choose conveys complex messages to those around us and to our own subconscious.

So now I am no longer saying I am ‘a diabetic’ – a label which defines me, instead I am a ‘person with diabetes’ – person first, diabetes second.

I am trying not to think about ‘good’ or ‘bad’ blood glucose or HbA1c results. Instead I think of them as being ‘in range’ or a ‘work in progress’.

If you ‘test’ your blood glucose then you can pass or fail that test, so it is better to ‘check’ or ‘measure’ your blood glucose. Check your blood glucose level to give you information about what to do next. Check, respond, move on.

Don’t try to ‘control’ your diabetes, ‘manage’ it instead – there are often factors that affect your blood glucose levels that are outside of your direct control (an unexpected liver dump or some other diabetes randomness), but you can use your skills and knowledge to manage those changing circumstances as best you can.

Even terms like ‘should do’ or ‘should have’ can imply some sort of personal failure if something doesn’t quite go to plan. ‘Can do’ and ‘will do’ are more positive alternatives.

There are also changes you can make in the way you think about food, and talk about it with other people. ‘I can’t eat that’ implies that I am being prevented from doing something and that I’m not in control of the decision. ‘I am not going to eat that, because reducing my carb intake makes my diabetes easier to manage’ or even simply ‘I don’t eat that’ puts me back in control – I am making a choice at that moment and I know why I am making it. Next time I can choose again, perhaps differently, but it is always my choice.

As I say, these changes are tiny. It is hard to believe that they would have any effect at all, but little by little they are helping me engage with my diabetes in a more positive way.

What helps you stay positive?

Diabetes Week 2013 - A question of research

It was great to be invited to submit a guest post for Diabetes UK's blog to mark Diabetes Week (9-15 June) this year. I'm a little late with it, so it may not make it onto their site this week, but here it is anyway.

"What aspect of your diabetes would you fund research into if you had the choice?"

Some of you may know I've been pottering off to London every so often recently as part of the Guideline Development Group that is updating the NICE Type 1 Diabetes Guidelines. I'm on the Group as one of two 'punters', part of the Patient and Public Involvement programme that seeks to include a grass-roots perspective from patients during the development of NICE guidelines. As a result I've had a bit of homework to do and have come into contact with a whole stack of research papers on all sorts of topics.

I have good reason to be thankful for NICE Guidelines. As a patient, well written guidelines give you a meaty, authoritative document to wave in front of your clinic or GP that says, "Look, this is what the NHS says is the very best way to treat my condition, and that's what I want". NICE prides itself on being 'evidence based' and looks into all sorts of different approaches/treatment options to try to evaluate the very best options in terms of efficacy, balanced with cost-effectiveness. Thankfully 'cost effective' is not a euphemism for cheap here. Even very expensive options, such as an insulin pump, can be recommended provided that the research demonstrates quantifiable benefits to the patient.

At the risk of offending researchers everywhere, to my simple mind the research papers I've been looking at seem to divide roughly into two camps. One is 'I wonder what...' and the other 'I reckon...'. The second camp also appears to include studies with a vested interest in demonstrating a particular outcome, sort of 'Can we show...'. It is a good job that published research is peer-reviewed and some considerable effort is taken to ensure that studies are designed fairly, but nevertheless there is a part of all of us, I think, that looks slightly sideways at research into how marvellous a new drug is that was paid for by the company that makes the product. NICE even have a special method for reviewing research papers to assess their reliability 'grade'.

So what of my own 'I wonder what...' question? To be honest, it's probably a bit more of an 'I reckon...', but only because of my own experience over the last few of years. I also suspect (given some of the online questionnaires I have been invited to complete recently) that there is already a growing body of work on the subject. Best of all, there is no Big Pharma organisation lurking in the shadows looking to make squillions from a new wonder drug. What would I like to see researched? It is simply this: "The use of internet forums, social media interaction and blogs (the Diabetes Online Community) for improved patient outcomes with T1 Diabetes".

Now I'm not for a minute suggesting that posting a couple of threads on a diabetes forum replaces the expertise of dedicated healthcare professionals or attending regular screening or clinic appointments, but diabetes is a frustratingly individual condition and can be quite isolating. Time and again I see new people join diabetes forums, or begin tweeting who have lived with type 1 for decades but rarely, if ever, met or compared notes with anyone else living with the condition. I'm a passionate believer in the power of peer support and have seen its transformative power at work in the lives of many individuals. Successful diabetes forums are huge resource of pooled experience, knowledge and can instantly put you in touch with approaches, techniques and suggestions from clinicians all over the world. Diabetes blog posts that mirror your own experience from another's perspective can give you a real sense of connectedness and help you realise that it is not just you. Conversely, another post might make you realise that anything is possible. Social media channels and interactions provide very genuine and in some cases almost instantaneous support and encouragement when diabetes is not 'playing nicely'.

There is a new breed of Healthcare Professional learning to embrace and value these resources, and it would be nice for them to have some good hard research numbers to back up their enthusiasm. Hopefully we can move away from the time when HCPs never looked at online diabetes resources and suggested that their patients never read them.

If you are living with type 1 diabetes you are not alone. There are 1,000s of others facing the same daily battles and together we can make each other's days just that little bit easier.

Making Connections - Diabetes Week guest post on DUK Blog

I was delighted to be asked to write a guest post for the Diabetes UK blog as part of Diabetes Week 2012. Diabetes UK’s theme this year is ‘Make a Connection’ – here are two takes on that:

1. Making connections is the worst thing about diabetes

Diabetes is, for want of a better word, *incredibly* annoying.

I can’t really comment on the vagaries of type 2 – though I have read enough comments from people trying to wrestle their type 2 control into submission to realise that it is at least as contrary and inconsistent as type 1. Let’s be honest, there are days when type 1 diabetes can seem to be deliberately out to get you. Some days it just seems to get it into its head to ‘go off on one’ and there is simply no reasoning with it. Confusion and contradiction abound.

It doesn’t help that on other days, weeks even, it can seem to be entirely reliable and meekly obedient. Behaving the way the doctors say it should. Ratios and factors all present and correct.

It doesn’t even help that of all the chronic conditions, diabetes is one of the most livable-with. If I was going to have to have a chronic condition, diabetes would be pretty high up the list of ones I’d choose.

I can remember comments I got from friends and colleagues in the years soon after diagnosis, “Oooh, I could NEVER inject myself! I don’t know how you can...” – as if that were the hard part! The injections, the testing, the clinic appointments… These are all minor inconveniences. Even carb counting is easy enough and becomes second nature after a short while.

The really tricky thing about living with diabetes is the number of variables involved in the day-to-day running of things – and all the inter-related connections between them. Whenever my levels go all over the place there always seem to be 101 possible causes, lots of head scratching and false-starts before things settle again. Only to go out of kilter a few weeks later.

The body is amazingly good at controlling blood glucose levels. Really, spectacularly good. Most ordinary people wandering about have NO idea of the complex goings-on inside them. The ebb and flow of hormones keeping blood glucose levels within a tiny range no matter what they eat or what they do. It’s only when you suddenly have to start playing at being your own pancreas that you realise how amazing the body is.

The difficulty for us, of course, is that the body is SO good, that it’s a pretty tough act to follow. If the body usually kept blood glucose levels somewhere between 2-20mmol/L we’d all be laughing . But there’s a lot to juggle when you are trying to ‘do it yourself’ and live up to the body’s high standards. The grams of carb eaten... The dose of insulin for those carbs... The likely speed of absorption of the carbs... Likewise the likely absorption profile of the insulin. Not to mention the background insulin required to cover output from the liver, or for that matter, the liver suddenly deciding that this hour, or day, or week needs far more (or less) glucose than normal. Activity? Illness? Stress? Ambient temperature? It’s a wonder we ever get a decent level.

It’s worth remembering that when you are having a bad week. Playing at being your own pancreas is a big ask. We won’t always have all the information. What worked brilliantly last month won’t necessarily work as well this week (because this week is, of course, slightly different in a million seemingly inconsequential ways).

There is never going to be a ‘right’, only ever a ‘right for now’. The best we can do is keep on testing, writing things down, looking for patterns and chasing the moving goalposts.

2. Making connections is the best thing about diabetes

Diabetes is, for want of a better word, *incredibly* annoying.

It can also feel like quite a lonely place to be. For perhaps 18 years I lived my diabetic life supported by friends and family, but without really knowing anyone else with diabetes. I’d met only a handful of people with type 1 in my life, and stumbled across a few more with type 2, but none of their experiences seemed to relate to a diabetes that was anything like mine.

After a while the suggestions and comments from my clinic team were all very well, but they didn’t seem to fit with what I was experiencing – or worse still, were things I’d already tried and knew didn’t work for me. I was having a few too many highs, a few too many lows (but then doesn’t everyone?). My HbA1c was OK-ish. I didn’t seem to be frying my eyes too rapidly. I supposed I convinced myself that this was as good as could be expected.

But then a few years back I had an unusually nasty hypo (long story, short trip to A&E). Suddenly my understanding changed. Good enough was no longer good enough. We began to write this blog as a family, to begin to think about diabetes in a slightly more ‘front of mind’ way.

I began testing far more frequently, writing everything down, looking for patterns. I began to look around for other people to compare notes with. Found and read some amazing blogs written by people with diabetes from all over the world. Joined forums where I could ask questions, read experiences, or just generally rant and moan about the silliness of it all.

There is nothing like making connections with other people who instantly ‘get it’.

There is no question you can ask that will be considered too silly or too obvious.

There is nothing like reading a post written by someone on the other side of the world who is able to express exactly how you feel about a shared experience.

There is nothing like sharing one of your experiences, only to give someone else a ‘lightbulb moment’ over something they have been struggling with for years.

There is nothing like sitting around a table at a social event and having everyone pull out a BG meter before eating.

Making connections gives you access to the latest thinking and approaches from clinics all around the country (or all over the world).

Making connections makes you feel less alone.

Making connections makes diabetes easier to live with.

There are hundreds of people all over the world (and just around the corner) who know what it’s like to face what you are facing every day. Who can encourage you and support you. Who can make your diabetes easier to manage.

Go and make some connections of your own.

Top notch transition to a pump : QiC Awards 2012 Guest post

I was invited to write a blog post or two for the Quality in Care (QiC) awards 2012. QiC highlights and recognises outstanding practice and initiatives of healthcare professionals, NHS trusts and other organisations in the care of long-term conditions including diabetes that meet the values of QIPP (Quality, Innovation, Productivity and Prevention). The last post shares the outstanding experience I've had moving to an insulin pump.

On a slightly brighter note I thought I would share my absolutely excellent experience of moving from MDI (multiple daily injections) to Insulin Pump therapy. The clinic I attend is quite pro-pump and the idea was first mentioned to me some years ago as a possible solution to my concerns over hypoglycaemia. I have never had a problem with severe episodes, but the low-level dips have always been a little too frequent and in more recent years I had become slightly concerned that my warning signs might be weakening.

When an insulin pump was first suggested, many years ago, I was intrigued as to how (if a person was still going to be making similar errors in carb counting, for example) the transformation in control came about. Unfortunately, the consultant who was advocating a pump could not clearly articulate ‘how’ it improved things – just that it did. Sadly, this was not really enough for me. Like almost everyone considering a pump I had an instinctive and fairly profound unease about being attached to something 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and I remained firmly ‘pump averse’ for several years.

It was only after perhaps two years of renewed effort in gaining real control over my diabetes, while at the same time coming into contact with a number of pump users online that I began to understand how and why pump therapy worked. At the same time though, I became aware of the ‘postcode lottery’ that seems to be part and parcel of getting pump therapy funding in the UK. I wondered if I had perhaps missed my chance, or if it would take the three or four years of struggle that others experience.

Having pushed my MDI to the limits, learning an awful lot about how my diabetes works, improving my HbA1c and losing a lot of low-level hypos into the bargain I realised that however good it got it still wasn’t going to be good enough. I decided to investigate the option of a pump at my annual review in September. I had a good two-way conversation with a Registrar who agreed that many of the challenges I continued to face would be better tackled with an insulin pump.

She booked me an appointment with the Pump Specialist Diabetes Nurse the following week. Although I hadn’t officially done a course on carb counting and dose adjustment it was agreed that I knew enough for this not to present a problem. The DSN put my case to the pump clinic Consultant, who agreed funding with the PCT and I started on an insulin pump a few weeks later.

I cannot imagine a better experience. I was treated as an individual throughout and my particular needs and circumstances were taken into account at every stage. Not only that, but the transition was handled excellently – with lots of care and attention, frequent phone calls and follow-up during those tricky early days.

When things go well it is hard to imagine a better healthcare system than the NHS.

All too familiar? : QiC Awards 2012 Guest post

I was invited to write a blog post or two for the Quality in Care (QiC) awards 2012. QiC highlights and recognises outstanding practice and initiatives of healthcare professionals, NHS trusts and other organisations in the care of long-term conditions including diabetes that meet the values of QIPP (Quality, Innovation, Productivity and Prevention). This second post does a bit of moaning about decentralised care.

Familiarity breeds contempt they say, and I suppose that is true of those with chronic conditions. We have attended so many appointments, check-ups and dealt with so many prescription requests over the years that we can become quickly frustrated by any perceived administrative inefficiency.

We are already devoting quite a considerable amount of time and effort to this ‘playing at being a pancreas’ project and have little enthusiasm for repeat appointments and any apparent lack of communication between different parts of our care team. For example, I needed to make some changes to my repeat prescription recently as suggested by the DSN at the hospital. It took at least four attempts to get it right at my surgery. This is about average. I’m not sure how I could have made the requests any clearer. In the end it took two handwritten notes, one typewritten, one from the DSN herself and three visits to the GP’s reception.

At no point was I called or emailed with a query or to request any clarification, I just had to keep going back and asking for the same thing over and over until the repeat prescription form eventually came out right. And this is a surgery that I know handles their aspects of my care brilliantly. Compared to other people’s experiences that I read on various forums, I know I am very lucky.

There seems to be another push for the decentralisation of care at the moment. I can remember when what I used to refer to as my 30,000-Jab Service (annual diabetic review) took place with two visits. I would get some bloods taken a week or two before my appointment, then go along to clinic and spend the inevitable hour waiting to be seen before being variously poked and prodded until everyone was satisfied that I was OK to be released for another 12 months. All in all, including the blood tests, it probably took about two or three hours.

Change 1: The arrival of eye screening units. The traditional scary-pupil-enlargement-and-bright-light-combo was taken out of the review and began to involve snazzy photography by a mobile unit at the GP surgery rather than being peered at by someone clutching an ophthalmoscope and holding their breath. Not a bad change – but it did involve an extra appointment and thus a bit more waiting room drudgery.

Change 2: The next thing that happened was that a practice nurse and GP at my surgery went on a short course, and they began to run a diabetes clinic. Since I’m on their books I was not-very-gently encouraged to attend (I always assumed there was a financial incentive). Up to that point my care had always been at the hospital, and for a year or two I endured double appointment ‘fun’. Twice the appointments, twice the blood tests, twice the reviews, more hours spent in waiting rooms, more time away from work – no actual benefit.

Since the surgery was not taking no for an answer I ended up signing myself off at the hospital and kept going to my GPs for a few years. This was all well and good for some things, but after drifting for a while with a not-disastrous-but-not-great HbA1c I had a peculiar hypo one night that shook me up a bit and ended up with a precautionary, though looking back largely unnecessary, trip to A&E.

Some of the long-standing frustrations and/or peculiarities in the micro-management of T1 became more pressing. But when I went for an appointment first with the practice nurse, then with the practice GP ‘with interest’ both looked a little rabbit-in-the-headlights when I started asking pointy questions about changing insulins. I think the GP said ‘It’s a bit out of my league really’. So I was referred back to the hospital again. Approximately 18 months later I am going through that same loop again – ‘review overdue’ is appearing on my repeat prescription request form. I’m booked in to the GP clinic again. Even though I had an ‘annual’ review six months ago.

Now that doesn’t sound too troublesome as a story – but coming from a point of feeling ‘well cared for’ for about 10 or 15 years with one or two appointments a year the number of appointments has risen exponentially. And often the appointments can be 2 minute affairs just to say that someone doesn’t know and I’d have to go and see someone else.

I am extremely lucky in that my working hours are quite flexible, but in previous jobs this would have been extremely difficult to manage. I can understand the logic in trying to free up time in hospitals by getting some of the checks and tests (weight, blood pressure, eye squinting, toe tickling and so on) done in a local GP surgery, but the problem seems to be that the various parts of the now widespread team are not sharing their bits of information effectively.

Additionally if you break down one appointment into four or five different slices it becomes a lot more troublesome and time consuming for the patient. From the surgery point of view I can see the QoF* incentive to get good results from all the people with diabetes on your books – after all we are expensive to keep – but surely a result is a result? A test and/or notes taken at hospital clinic should not need to be repeated a month or two later at the surgery unless there is a compelling clinical reason for doing so.

*The Quality and Outcomes Framework allocates 'points' for GP surgeries where patients with long-term conditions are meeting certain criteria and/or have all the relevant records up to date. The points then equate to additional budget for the surgery.

My other full-time job : QiC Awards 2012 Guest post

I was invited to write a blog post or two for the Quality in Care (QiC) awards 2012. QiC highlights and recognises outstanding practice and initiatives of healthcare professionals, NHS trusts and other organisations in the care of long-term conditions including diabetes that meet the values of QIPP (Quality, Innovation, Productivity and Prevention). This first post considers some issues that can arise for HCPs when dealing with people who live with a condition day-in day-out.

I should perhaps begin by saying that during the 20 odd years that I have had Type 1 diabetes I have had what I consider to be excellent care from pretty much every DSN, registrar, consultant, dietician, phlebotomist and GP I have come across. I am also aware, from reading accounts from people with diabetes elsewhere in the world, that the UK is a pretty darned good place to live if you happen to have a wonky pancreas. Now anyone who has spent any time treating people with diabetes will surely know them to be the most even-tempered, uncomplaining and obedient of patients(!) and I’ve been invited to reflect on my experiences from ‘the other side of the desk’.

Diabetes is a complex and contradictory condition to be diagnosed with. Long after the initial shock has worn off, patients are regularly assailed by conflicting emotional responses: Having diabetes doesn’t have to stop me from doing anything I want to... Diabetes stops me doing anything I want to... I can eat anything I want as long as I dose for it correctly... There is absolutely nothing that I can eat without causing complete chaos in my levels... I can do this! I just can’t do this any more! With diabetes it’s possible to experience any of these feelings in quick succession – or quite possibly several all at the same time.

What is worse for healthcare professionals, of course, is that diabetes is insanely personal. In the Diabetic Online Community (all those diabetes blogs and forums that you probably don’t read) there is a well-worn phrase that stubbornly refuses to die out from over-use – Your Diabetes May Vary.

One-size-fits-all this isn’t. Advice you might give to one patient that would work perfectly, might be a complete disaster to the next. Not only that but we diabetics, especially those of us with Type 1 tend to hang around for quite a while these days. If diabetes was my job, I’d be edging toward a carriage clock and time off for good behaviour by now.

This poses two main problems for HCPs I think. First is the assumption that we’ve been told things before. Second is the assumption that we don’t have a clue what we are doing. The first assumption could leave a patient floundering for years without a basic understanding various diabetes management approaches, dose adjustment or carb counting for example, simply because they were not in vogue when they were diagnosed. These patients then don’t get updated later as it is assumed by fresh faced perky young medics that they must know all this already. The second assumption could see a steel shutter slam down during a conversation if a suggestion is made that ‘If you are high you need to take a bit more insulin’ to a person who has been carefully tweaking their own doses for years.

In order to control my diabetes to my satisfaction I have to think about it more or less continually. It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I attend to before sleep. There’s not a morsel of food that I’ve eaten in over 20 years that was not first considered in relation to its likely effect on my blood glucose levels. Any appreciable change in level of activity even just popping round the shops needs a bit of thought and a little forward planning. Even changes in the weather have to be watched. When I’m managing my diabetes well, it’s pretty much a full time occupation – the team I see get to think about it for about twenty minutes once or twice a year.

Guest post on blogs.diabetes.org.uk

I was asked by Diabetes UK to write a guest post for their shiny new blog blogs.diabetes.org.uk.

I wrote it just around the time of this blog's 1 year birthday, and unsurprisingly it became a sort of 'looking back over the last 12 months' thing, a variation of the themes on which I posted here a week or so later.

If you are interested, you can read it on the Diabetes UK blog here: "I still love my pancreas and other things I have learned this year".